Jungle Justice

I know, it sounds like a bad Steven Seagal Movie...

Anyway, at 0445, I was roused by the sounds of yelling (yet again) outside. Thinking it was another funeral procession (we average about 1-2 a week) I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. This sounded different though....more primal...guttural...and somewhat festive. I decided to investigate further.

As I approached the front door I could tell this was most definitely NOT a death (unless the person was exceedingly unpopular). No, this was bordering on a riot. I opened the door to see throngs of angry villagers yelling and taunting and though my Lingala (local vernacular) borders on non-existence, I clearly got the gist of what was happening. Someone had been busted.

I watched as the crowd enveloped a lone soul who was dragged out onto the street from behind a house. I could barely make out the form which was now on the ground being sequentially pummeled in a grisly 'round robin'. After about 20 minutes the figure was lifted up and carried off to the police chief's house (also the courthouse and penitentiary). After talking to some of the people in the crowd, I found out he was a thief they caught red-handed.

What he got caught doing, no one could tell me. Everyone seemed satisfied with his castigation though, despite the lack of details.

Now, I could have said.."I stood around and watched some guy get his a** kicked today", but where's the fun in that?

I also thought of a riddle...

Q - What's black and blue and lumpy all over?

A - That guy..

I told that little gem to the lab staff but they didn't seem to get it. I’d better stick to my day job..